Girls with Goals

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We’re Moving!

Hey everyone! We’ve moved to our very own domain! Visit the NEW and IMPROVED Life Anonymous Girls, and subscribe to our RSS feed or by email (links towards the bottom on the right)!

We hope you join us at our new home. We have new posts up, and we’ll be posting a lot more often!

Hope to see you there!
Allegra

The Food Snob

Mousse decorated with peaches, whipped cream, ...

Image via Wikipedia

  • Beer.
  • Tea.
  • Soup.
  • Molten chocolate cake.
  • Lobster.
  • Fish.
  • Crab.
  • Tiramisu.
  • Mousse.
  • Home-made mac and cheese.
  • Clam chowder.
  • Chile rellenos.
  • Pancakes.
  • Pastrami.

What do all of these foods have in common? These are things that I’ve only started liking within the last year–many within the last 3 months.

Why do you care? Well, you probably don’t! But The Pioneer Woman can get away with making lists, and I feel like I can make lists that rank up with the best list-makers out there.

These foods are actually accomplishments of which I’m very proud. My whole life I’ve been a picky eater–and often I still am. Well, guess what?

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! (name that movie!)

I can’t for the life of me figure out why I would force myself to not like something or not, at the very least, try something. Where was my head?

It seems that one day I just got sick of being so picky. I didn’t like having to tell waiters to leave off a certain ingredient, or to have three dinner rolls and a small pile of turkey on my plate at Thanksgiving. It got tiring being the person everyone had to accommodate.

And, yes, being a picky eater was much better for my waistline. But still. It’s like I’ve been introduced to new friends! The kind of friend that even if you don’t see her for months or years, you can come back together like you were never apart. It’s easy between us now.

Plus, this goes with my goal to try new things and be adventurous. And I’m well on my way!

Just for the record, here are some foods that I still don’t like, but maybe one day we’ll get to know each other better and forge a trusting relationship:

  • Wine.
  • Onions.
  • Tomatoes.
  • Yogurt.
  • Shrimp.
  • Scallops.
  • Mushrooms.
  • Peas.
  • Asparagus.
  • Cabbage.
  • Whipped cream.

So please, if you’re a picky eater, and you really don’t understand why you still are, go ahead and try a new food for me. Just give it a shot. I promise you’ll come across something new to love that you weren’t open to before.

- Allegra

P.S. I also don’t understand adventurous picky eaters. You know, someone who jumps out of a plane for the heck of it but grimaces at the thought of eating something with sour cream on it. You know who you are.

Water weight and a liquid diet

I know I’m not fat. But that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable in my skin these days.

If you’ve followed my progress toward getting back to what I believe to be a comfortable size for me, you know that I’ve been working out regularly–in fact, relentlessly–at a studio specializing in Ballerobica classes, the fusion between ballet strength and toning and aerobics. Now I’m averaging 9 hours a week! In fact, I fully expect to win the studio’s New Year Fitness Challenge–each class is worth a certain amount of points, then you subtract one point for every dessert you have over the challenge–January 1 through February 13. I have 168 points–they’ll be handing me my 3 free ballerobica DVDs any day now (even if I do win because no one else has turned in their points yet). I’ve been working my butt off (literally) and I deserve the prize!

Anyway, I’ve decided on an additional weight loss goal for the month of March. It’s kind of a diet plan, but I don’t plan on being meticulous about food–obviously I’ll eat healthy, but I’m not going to starve myself or give up foods I absolutely love. I’ve heard that drinking a lot of water is healthy, right? At first I intended to drink only water for the entire month of March. But that’s just not realistic, so I widened my scope.

March Liquid Diet:

1. water

2. flavored carbonated waters (for when I feel like I need a pop, I really like Cascade Ice waters, and I only like the flavors that have 2 calories or less anyway)

3. tea (many have little to no calories)

4. protein shakes (I’ve been drinking these for breakfast)

5. alcoholic drinks at social functions, but here’s the caveat: for each drink, I must have a glass of water

Basically I’m avoiding soda, juice, milk, and any other higher-calorie beverages for the month of March. I figure it is an easy way to cut back on unnecessary calories that will still allow me to eat some of my favorite foods without too much guilt.

Is this idea completely crazy? What weight-loss strategies have you tried? How do you hold yourself to them?

I’ll keep you updated on my progress!

Stay healthy!

Allegra

P.S. I’ve lost 7 pounds (from all the ballerobica), and my calves are fantastically toned! Now I just need that to make its way up the rest of my body.

 

“Career Move Mondays” – Today is Tuesday

Well, I’ve already fallen off of the blogging wagon! Yesterday was my day to discuss the triumphs and troubles in my working life. Since yesterday was President’s Day, I was super busy doing a lot of things that have nothing to do with my career. Very fitting, I know.

Anyway, I really have been busy. I’ve been applying for jobs, going to interviews, and shortly after getting turned down. The constant rejection got me thinking about what I’m really trying to accomplish in life. Why do I want a new job? Why do I dislike my current job? Why should I even care about a job?

Sadly, it all boils down to money. I need a new job because I’m not making enough money where I am now. So why would I want to go get a new job that would probably turn out to be only slightly less awful than the job I have now? To make more money.

“But money can’t buy you happiness!” you say? I agree. Money can’t buy you family, friends, love, sunshine, laughter, or an unlimited supply of red wine.

Okay, maybe the wine.

Call me materialistic if you wish, but there are a lot of things that make me happy that I can buy. Would I survive without them if I had to? Of course. Would I be unhappy without them? Maybe for a little while.

The fact of the matter is that I don’t need a career to so I can establish my self-worth by climbing a ladder the rest of my life. Some people find this intriguing, and others find it disgusting. Maybe I was meant to be a 1950′s housewife, where ideas like this are accepted and praised!

We’ll see how this all pans out. I’ll keep you updated on my hunt for a well-paying, careerless job, if such a thing even exists. Until then, I will continue to sit here at my desk with an uncomfortable smile on my face and an uncomfortable number in my bank account.

Ciao!

Florence

 

“Career Move Mondays” – Building a Business

Buttercream swirls are piped onto the sides of...

Image via Wikipedia

I’ll try not to make this post too cryptic, but since this blog is intended to give us some anonymity, I can’t reveal specific details. Sorry!

Here is the first thing you should know: I decorate cakes.

Here is the second thing you should know: I don’t want to open a bakery.

A few years ago I started taking cake decorating classes. I absolutely fell in love with decorating cakes. Sitting down with some frosting and fondant and creating something beautiful is one of my favorite things to do. I find it both relaxing and challenging–when everything is going right, I get into a groove and out of nowhere 7 hours have gone by, but when everything is going wrong–which is likely to happen when using food to look like it’s not food–it can be hell.

A while after I took the classes I kept making cakes for friends and family to practice, and I eventually became a cake decorating instructor. I absolutely loved my students and seeing what creations they came up with. But there is a little red tape involved in working for not just one, but two companies, and I couldn’t stand that.

I eventually began to develop my own idea for a business, and pursued it particularly after I graduated college last spring. I got the business cards, the website and some marketing materials, I planned the classes I would teach, and even had a small grand opening celebration/test class with family and friends.

Everything went great. All my students thought it was a fantastic idea for a business and they all learned something new. However, not one of them booked a future class. And supposedly they liked it? Seems a little fishy.

Anyway, from the beginning I expected this endeavor to just be a part-time side job, and concentrated on finding a full-time job. Check! So what’s happened to my business? I haven’t done even one paid class. And I didn’t have the momentum to push the business.

Although I didn’t put as much money into my business as many budding entrepreneurs do, I certainly don’t want all the effort I did make to go to waste–plus, I still think I have a good idea on my hands.

So this is the year of my business. I’m giving it a chance.

First of all, I’m reformatting. There had to be a reason I couldn’t even get friends to book a class…money? convenience? difficulty of the material? the types of classes?

So I’m reconsidering everything. Overall, the business model will remain the same. But I’ve already got a few ideas in the works for something new and improved.

But the way I’m really going to push myself is by applying for a student entrepreneurship grant through the university I work for–and technically I’m still a student, so I qualify. Many of the other students I would be competing against really need the seed funding–many of their businesses are highly technological. While some money would be nice, I’m applying for this to receive the guidance and advice from entrepreneurial experts.

Over the next few months I’ll be attending info sessions and submitting a concept proposal in the hopes that someone else sees the value and potential of my business. Wish me luck!

Oh, and by the way, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

We love you!

- Allegra

 

And the winner is…..

“Sit”…… click….. praise. 

“Heel”… click…treat.

“Off”… click… pat.

So, the clicker training continues and I am learning that consistency is hard.  I feel like my life has been overrun by sharp tinny noises and monosyllabic commands!

However much of a commitment this clicker training has been, my trusty pal has definitely developed a keen ear for the “click.”  On walks he knows right where I keep it in my pocket and continually gazes up at it while prancing down the sidewalk.   He knows that sooner or later he will do something “click worthy” and will get to enjoy a yummy reward.

And while I am overall pretty impressed with the progression of the clicker training, I am even more amazed at my attitude throughout the whole process.  You see, while doing research on the clicker method, I came across a book called Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know, by Alexandra Horowitz, and this book has changed my life.

One night, I came across a concept proposed by Horowitz that totally went against everything I thought I knew about dogs (and I read A LOT of dog books.)  According to Alexandra and her research, you, as the owner (or adoptive parent, if you prefer) of your dog do not need to be the alpha of the pack!

photo by Erin Vey

In fact…there really isn’t a deep pack mentality engrained in most domestic dog breeds!  She explains that because we, as humans, are not sure what to do with animals living among us, we assign these notions of packs and alphas to our living environments in an attempt to create order and organization in our lives.  In other words, we are not doing it for the dogs, we are doing it for ourselves.  Brilliant!

Now, I will be the first to admit that I was incredibly skeptical about this whole concept upon first read because I have been attributing all of my dogs naughty actions to the fact that he thinks he is “the alpha” for about 2 ½ years now (I am a big Dog Whisperer fan!)

But, what if…… what if……I was letting this “alpha business” get to me, essentially jading my view of the relationship that my dog and I really have?  What if my stress and frustration surrounding my efforts at becoming “master” of my dog was actually damaging our relationsip?  After reading these eye-opening pages, I started slowly (and somewhat skeptically) letting go of my “I always need to be in charge” mentality and started placing a little more trust in my dog.

I stopped nit-picking every little thing he did (getting too excited when another dog walked by, stopping too many times to lift his leg on walks, pulling ahead of me on the leash) and started giving him some of that freedom, while also asking for him to give me some respect in return. 

I slowly began to realize that our walks became a kind of dance.  He gets a little out of line, I calm him down, ask him to sit, reward him with a treat (and click of course!) and let him spend some additional time sniffing next to the mailbox.  It is a compromise, not a power struggle!

I have started to realize that trying to control all of his actions (while trying to be the alpha) was stressing me out and setting me up for failed expectations.  He could sense that (as our dogs are truly are mirrors of our emotions) and would, in turn, become more agitated and rebellious on our walks.  An endless, negative cycle.

Now, I am not saying that we are a perfect pair that will ride (or walk) off into the sunset with never a problem to deal with, or that I will totally discount all that I have learned from the great Cesar Millan, but I am learning to be more open minded with how I communicate with my dog. 

What he and I have is a companionship, not a contest.

Please post your stories (and challenges!) of raising your dog to be a happy, healthy companion.

“Career Move Mondays” – School Daze

One of the best pieces of advice my dad has ever given me is that life is too short to hate going to work every day. 

Now, I am not so disillusioned to think that I will one day have a career that I will excitedly jump out of bed for at 6:00 am on a cold Monday morning, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for to like what you do, at least just a little bit.

I went to college for elementary education.  I loved college; I loved my classes; I loved student teaching, but when it came to getting my own classroom, the love affair quickly died.  At the risk of sounding like a completely horrible monster, I must admit, I am not a huge fan of kids, well large amounts of them in a confined area, anyway. 

I know, I know, then why would I ever choose elementary education as a career to pursue?  Well, as I found out a few years later sitting at my desk adorned with apple trinkets and papers that needed grading (and completely burned out, I must add), it wasn’t the prospect of working with children that had caused me to want to be a teacher, it was my interest in the curriculum that drew me in.

So, here I am, about to enter my 30’s, back in school for instructional design.  I am currently working on an internship at a textbook/software publishing company, and I feel hopeful.  In my spare time, I thumb through 7th grade biology and 6th grade grammar textbooks, and I honestly really enjoy it.  I am a nerd at heart; a nerd that is not a big fan of large numbers of kids, and I have embraced that.  I will still be shaping the leaders of tomorrow; I will just be doing it from behind the scenes.   And, I am not a monster.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that there is no need to be discouraged if your career aspirations are not working out the way you expected them to.  At the risk of sounding too cliché, life is a journey, not a destination.  Finding a career that completely suits, challenges, and makes you happy is a journey.  It takes time. 

However, don’t be discouraged if you are never excited about the thought of getting out of bed at 6:00 am on a cold Monday morning.  There are some things we must learn to live with.

Leave a comment and share parts of your career journey to inspire others.  It always helps to know that you’re not alone!

Happy Monday!

*Hope

To un Ristorante and Beyond!

Caffe LatteIn case you didn’t know, I’m taking an Italian class to prepare for my (late) honeymoon to Italy this summer. After only four classes, I’m very proud to be able to tell you my name, ask you where you’re from, count to 100 and name everything one would find in a classroom. The only problem is – I will not be visiting un’aula in Italy, nor do I plan to make someone listen to me count from zero to cento!

I know that all of these skills build a foundation to learn more complex aspects of the language, but I want to start practicing travel-y things like, “I would like some wine,” “How much does this cost?” and “Table for two.” So I’ve done a little independent study.

I know that to order my beloved latte, I would ask for un caffè latte. I could sit and drink this at un ristorante. This is a good start. So far I won’t go thirsty during my trip. However, I will need to eat, find the restroom, buy tickets to things, ask for a menu, order the raspberry gelato…you get the idea. So I started compiling a list of key phrases I want to memorize sooner rather than later.

My question to all of you is – in your own international travels, what phrases do you find most helpful to know? For example, when I was dining in Paris, I learned that you will only get your check when you ask for it. So I quickly learned how to say, L’addition, s’il vous plaît!

I would love to know what YOU would put on your own ”must-know travel-speak” list. Grazie mille!

*Kiki

“Career Move Mondays” – Workin’ for a livin’

“So, what do you do?”

This question is easily the most frequently asked in introductory conversations, and I hate it. From the moment you meet someone, you’re immediately judged based on what you do for a living. Which, I guess, for most people is fine. But those people probably like what they do for work.

I think a more relevant question, which would be so much better for the whole getting-to know-you phase of a conversation, is, “So, what do you wish you could do for a living?”. Because in all honesty, how many people are actually doing what they truly love to support themselves?

Off the top of my head, I can name one person that I know, and I wouldn’t exactly call him “financially fit”. Doing what you love comes with a hefty price tag. But what could be greater than getting paid (however much or little) to do something you would easily do for free?

A couple of years ago, fresh out of college, when I was stressed and depressed about figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, my boyfriend brought up a great point. He said to me, “Some people do what they love for work. You work so you can do the things you love.”

This was the best little piece of insight I’ve gotten in a long time. I shouldn’t base my self-worth on what I do at work every day. There are so many other important aspects to life.

I love travel and adventure. I love seeing new places (even if its around the corner from my house). I love trying new restaurants. I love cooking. I love hosting parties. I love DIY projects and decorating my house. I love my pets. I love spending time with my family.

Why can’t my life be summed up based on all of these things I love, rather than where I work?

I’d love to find a job where I’m happy every day and like the work I do (which isn’t the case right now). I’d like to find a job where I make enough money to support all of the things I love, my true passions (which definitely isn’t the case right now).

Throughout the “Career Move Mondays” series, I’ll share my successes and failures in the hunt for the perfect job.  And if any of you come across an opening for a traveling cook who is inspired by trying new restaurants and dishes, who hosts parties for friends, pets and family in her beautifully decorated DIY house, please send it my way!

Ciao,

Florence

Dysfunctional Love

I. love. dogs.   I am the girl that will bound up to random strangers to pet, kiss, talk to…etc. their dogs.  Slightly weird and maybe a bit dangerous, I know, but if there is a dog within a 2 mile radius I am immediately sucked in.  Also, I should mention, the bigger they are, the longer I stare.

Being such a dog lover, it shouldn’t surprise you that I have one of my own.  And, yes, he is rather large.  A stocky cattle dog mix, tipping the scales at 75 pounds (a little heavier than ideal, but we’re working on it.)  He is my first attempt at raising a dog on my own, and, I must say, I am very proud of our lovingly dysfunctional relationship.

My dog hogs the bed, chases the cat, pulls me on the leash, wipes his face on the couch (right after a long, slobbery drink, of course), and jumps on every visitor that I have ever had over.  Sounds horrible, huh? 

My boy

Well, we have actually come a long way.  After adopting him from the Human Society over 3 years ago,  I have tried my hand at numerous, and sometimes disastrous training techniques.  However, over time I have managed to stop the accidents in the house, successfully crate train him, and teach him commands like “sit,” “down,”” stay,” “wait,” and “paw.”  These may seem like small victories, but if you are a dog owner, you understand that sense of complete satisfaction when your dog starts listening, responding, and working to make you happy.  It is an amazing feeling.  You are connecting with another species.

I read every dog book I can get my hands on.  I read inspirational stories of adoption and love.  I read training books.  I read non fictional books on different types of breeds.  Like many dog owners, I gain inspiration from the rehabilitated dogs on shows like The Dog Whisperer and It’s Me or the Dog .  I am a sucker for the underdog story (no pun intended) of the horribly spastic dog that will seemingly never recover from its obsessions, now living a normal, happy life. 

My goal is to be able to have the kind of healthy, happy, trusting, calmly assertive relationship with my dog that I imagine Cesar Millan having with him (if he ever chose to work with my dog!)

 I want to be my dog’s Cesar.  I want to give him guidance while also allowing him to enjoy the instinctual joys of being a dog.  I want him to feel safe and happy and stress-free.

It is true that my dog is my mirror.  The more tense or stressed out I am, the more unstable he is on our walks.  I have started clicker training with him to reinforce good behavior (especially while on the leash) and try my best to be my happiest, most confident self when interacting with him.     

I want to be the person that my dog needs.  I want to be his Cesar.

I will be posting some tips and tricks I learn during the training process.  Please leave comments about successful (or even failed!) attempts and methods for training your best friend (of the dog variety, that is).

Thanks!

*Hope

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